Lo bhai, facebook is no more. It's been leading up to a this for the past week or so and unless you've just gotten out of a coma or work at Google (plausible deniability) you should know about this. This past week has seen people from all corners of Pakistani society rise up and demand justice against the creators of the offensive page(Myspace), Facebook, Zynga, Zionists, Nazis, Niazis, Communists, Capitalists, Israelis, Americans, Indians, Bush, Musharaf, HEC, PCB, Meera, Daryl Hair, all barbers and Bob the builder. The entire nation united in a cause. Everyone except the mummy-daddies.
As of this morning, the world of mummy-daddies has been turned upside down. Miss Pinky woke up this morning, first went to bathroom for pishy potty, then on to her lappy toppy for her daily horoscope from Pundit-jee. That's when, at the tender age of 17 she had her first coronary.
This incident was far from a remote one. All over Pakistan, mummy-daddies voiced their horror:
"What about my fishes?"
"What about my chocolate-pooping cows?"
"How will I now know if my ex-girlfriend is cheating on me?"
"They could atleast have had the decency to warn us so we could change our statuses or immigrate to Canada !"
"Does anybody know the password to my Orkut account?"
"Zulm hai !"
"Ammi !!!"
"How will I flaunt my slutiness ?"
Yeah ok, I made the last one up. But I'm sure alot of them are thinking that. Now they'd actually have to slut up and go to the markets and look offended when boys ogle at them. Guys on the other hand will go back to sitting on sidewalks pretending to text while poondying out of the corner of their eyes. Bathroom walls will be written on, street signs vandalized, sudden increase in pregnancies resulting from boredom, not-funny text messages, "forward this to 200 people or your cat will get raped by a badger" messages, mothers will take out the frustration of having lost their only respite from the monotony of handi pocha, on their children, people will take up hobbies like collecting stamps or visiting prostitutes etc etc...
Now Mr. Judge has said that the ban is till the 31st of May, by which time he'll have assessed the situation completely and make a detailed decision then. Which has left me wondering, what is a guy to do at 1 in the morning, if not to spy on his ex's wall or play poker? Sleep? *shudder*
