اردو

کل بسمہ نےاپنی مادری زبان میں بول کر سنایا اور کہا کے باقی لوگ بھی اپنی اپنی مادری زبانوں میں بولیں۔ یہ میرے لئے بظاہر کوئ بڑا مسلہ نہیں تھا کیونکے میری مادری زبان اردو ہے اور میں صبح شام لوگوں سے اردو میں بات کرتا ہون۔ مگر جب میں نے یہ سوچنا شروع کیا کہ میں اردو میں کیا کہونگا اور صرف اردو میں کیسے کہونگا تو مجھے یہ احساس ہوا کہ میں روز مرا کی زندگی میں جو اردو بولتا ہوں وہ اردو نہیں ہے۔ بلکے یہ کہنا چاہیے کے اردو کی خالص شکل نہیں ہے۔ یہ اصل میں اردو اور انگریزی کی ایک کھچڑی سی ہے جو میں نے اور میرے ہم عمر اور لوگوں نے اپنا لی ہے۔ اور اس حد تک اپنا لی ہے کے میں صرف اردو میں اپنی بات بیان کرنے کی سلاحیت کھو چکا ہوں۔

میں بیان نہیں کرسکتا کہ یہ میرے لئے کتنی تکلیفدے بات ہے۔ کیونکے آج تک میں اپنا شمار ان لوگوں میں کرتا تھا جو اردو اچھی طرح بول اور پڑھ سکتے ہیں۔ غالب اور میر کو سمجھنا تو دور کی بات، یہاں حال اتنا برا ہے کہ چھوٹی سی گفتگو بھی صرف اردو میں نہیں کرسکتا۔

اگر آپ مجھ سے اس نالایقی کی وجہ پوچھیں تو میں شاید سستی کو وجہ ٹھیراوں، مگر یہ جواب میرے لئے بھی ناکافی ہے ۔ اس بات کا تعین کرنے کے لئے کے ہم اتنی آسانی سے اس خوبصورت زبان کوتباہ کیوں کر رہے ہیں مجھے اپکی رائے کی ضرورت ہے۔

Blasphemy - a calm analysis

A buzurg of the family for whom I have a lot of respect both as a scholar and an intellectual recently published a book. It provides the moderate Muslim with the information required to deal with bombardment of contradicting extreme views both from the liberal West and the hard-line religious fanatics. Without a doubt, it will provide the reader with a more balanced and concrete understanding of both Islamic ideology and history, than is possible from motor-mouthed TV evangelists. The book is called Islamic Society: Need for Revival and Development of Confidence, Creativity and Pluralism by Wajihuddin Siddiqui.

This is an excerpt from the book on how the blasphemy law should be handled:

For dealing with blasphemy cases in the Muslim world, an attempt should be made through Ijtihad to do away with the dead penalty altogether and adopt a lesser punishment, keeping in view the following considerations,

• Allah has not ordained death punishment to blasphemers. In fact He is allowing them a little time (during their life on earth) to enjoy their acts of blasphemy, as He is going to inflict severe punishment on them in the Hereafter.(39:8)

• Allah has ordained death punishment only in two cases (5:32). Blasphemy is not one of them.

• It is doubtful if the Prophet awarded death punishment to anybody solely on charges of blasphemy. Let us consider the case of Kab ibn al Ashraf who was executed on the orders of the Prophet. He was a Jew and was writing derogatory poetry about the Prophet and his family. But additionally he was also engaged in instigating people of Medina against the newly developed community of the Muslims. Hence the death punishment awarded to him cannot be attributed entirely to his blasphemous utterances. Some other people were given death penalty during the Prophet’s time were mostly poets, poetesses or reciters of disparaging poetry against the Prophet and Islam. These people were creating mischief in the society and were trying to wean away the new Muslims from their faith, especially the ones whose had not yet taken deep roots. They were thus guilty of multiple crimes, not of blasphemy alone.

• Imposition of death penalty for blasphemy is not the exclusive feature of the Islamic Society. It existed in many other societies for a long time. Jews condemned Jesus Christ to death punishment on charges of blasphemy. Christian Church has killed thousands of renegades and blasphemers in pre-modern times. But both these religions have now abandoned these practices.

The author recognizes that the death penalty in dealing with cases of blasphemy is a time-honoured tradition and to expect a complete dismissal, for now would be incorrect. The author however, proposes the following changes to the laws as they stand today,

• The blasphemers should be given an opportunity to repent and thus escape death punishment.

• The blasphemer should be given a chance to defend his position. Besides, he should not be executed instantly by any individual. The punishment should be awarded by a court after hearing the accused and taking necessary evidences. In this connection, “Every man’s fate We have fastened on his own neck: On the Day of Judgment We shall bring out for him a scroll which he will be see spread open. It will be said to him ‘Read thy own record: Sufficient is thy soul this day to make an account against thee’." (17:13). It is thus clear that even on the Day of Judgment Allah would show the record of men before imparting judgment. Thus there is no justification for killing the blasphemer on the spot.

My personal views on the subject are very close to the ones expressed above. What I find surprising, and more than a little amusing is that even after all this, I do not know what that woman Aasia-bibi allegedly said. I’m sure not many do. Her actual guilt or innocence seems so irrelevant now.

For generations in this country people have been acting and reacting impulsively to the challenges that arose and have achieved very little. Intolerance and impatience towards the views and sensitivities of others has left us incapable of resolving anything through dialogue and understanding. Almost all change, be it positive or negative has come through either political backscratching or forced down our throats by dictators. I myself have often been blamed of being intolerant and impatient to opposing view, a habit I have worked hard to curb (even though those who helped me in this regard have become both intolerant and impatient to my views :)). There is great need for dialogue, and informed discussions on sensitive subjects such as blasphemy, but not on Live Television. Not on the loudspeaker of mosques or in religious gatherings. These discussions need to be conducted between scholars of all views in a private atmosphere of tolerance and respect. I firmly believe that Qadri may have pulled the trigger, the masjid's Imam's rousing sermon may have brought him to that decision, but it was ratings-hungry TV channels and TV show hosts who milked these issues to create sensationalist viewing at the price of mutating the nation's feelings on a sensitive matter and now the whole country is burning.

Being a Muslim - desi style

A few years ago, there was a panel discussion on one of the Indian TV channels about the challenges of the modern Indian-Muslim. Unsurprisingly, Bollywood stars and TV-evangelists formed the panel. Who needs average people to discuss the problems of commoners when you can have Shahrukh Khan blitzing the screen? What was surprising however, was the absence of any cricketers from the panel; but I digress.

I found the discussion very interesting. In a nutshell: the practicing Muslim is having a hard time settling into secular India. He can be roughly divided into two categories. One who is holding the hard-line and orthodox religious interpretations very common to this region and thereby alienating himself amongst his fellow countrymen. The other, who in his eagerness to assimilate into the secular/liberal social surroundings is alienating himself amongst his fellow Indian-Muslims. Both situations creating strife and conflict which have often reached nationwide vandalism and bloodshed. According to the mentioned discussion the lack or complete absence of the moderate, practicing Muslim society is widening the gap between practicing Indian-Muslims and the rest of the country. Funnily enough, any suggestions of intolerance of the non-Muslim majority were quickly brushed aside.

The Indian-Muslim can learn from his Pakistani brothers about this. Pakistan being a Muslim majority country does not have India’s problems so a straightforward comparison might seem a bit inane. However, the way the Pakistani society developed a moderate, socially acceptable version of Islamic practice can be a fine example for the Indian-Muslims. It is understandably difficult to envisage Pakistan as an example of a moderate religious society so soon after the murder of Governor Taseer. It is easy to ignore the moderate Muslim that makes up most of this country’s population. He does not vote, his opinions being moderate are not interesting enough to justify attention.

The moderate Pakistani Muslim, and it will not be wrong to say that the moderate Sunni-Muslim has diluted his religion; not just the ideology but also the practice. Instead of five prayers a day he only prays once a week on Friday. He fasts with great fervor and displays piety during the Holy month of Ramadan. He indulges in music and cinema but does not drink alcohol or eat pork. He feels no obligation to grow a beard or wear his trousers above his ankles. The women may or may not cover their heads, doing so more out of traditional conformity than religious obligation. The moderate Pakistan-Muslim has confined religion to select occasions and situations. He believes it to be a private matter and does not apply it to all forms of his life, as is expected from a believer of almost any organized religion. Religious devotion for the average Pakistani is aimed more towards the annual Urs or mela than a greater Islam VS the-rest-of-the-world agenda that is touted by the extreme right; a trend that is changing drastically.

In Pakistan today the identity of the moderate Muslim is under threat. There is a clear sense of confusion as the voices (and actions) of the extremist, fundamentalist right and the liberal, secular left are getting louder and louder. In addition to his constant battle against poverty and declining living standards, he is now being forced to relinquish his conflict-free beliefs and to jump on one bandwagon or the other; a situation being made worse by the tactless handling of the so-called secular democratic government.

Rant: spitting at the stars and what not

I must admit, I don’t understand blasphemy. I looked it up in the dictionary and that didn’t help much. From what I understand, it is blasphemy when one’s religious or spiritual beliefs are made the subject of hate-speech. That’s the easy part, but here’s what I don’t get: Being raised in urban Pakistan in the 90s, I’m sure a lot of you reading this will have heard Jummah rants from our esteemed maulvis against Jews and Christians and Hindus. How their beliefs are inferior and how their deities are vile. Isn’t that blasphemy?

I also distinctly remember a tele-film on PTV about this fleet of the Pakistan Navy that sneaked past Indian marine defenses and unleashed a barrage of artillery fire on an Indian military outpost and neighboring village Dawarka. The climax of this tale of extreme bravado was the destruction of a Hindu temple – incidentally the same Mohammed Bin Qasim demolished. I am ashamed to admit that I found the sight of Hindu worshippers running away in fright quite gratifying. I’m not too sure that the 1.5% of Hindu “Pakistanis” would have found it gratifying watching it on “national” television. They wouldn’t have found it at all pleasing to see their own “jawans” turning a territorial conflict against a secular enemy into a religious one.

So the next time we have fits of horror and outrage at a video of a man clad in orange spewing rubbish or hear of a minister doing so in a run-down church in America or learn of a movie made in Europe expressing anti-Muslim sentiments, we should think look to ourselves and our own intolerance towards other beliefs.

And that’s not the worst of it. It isn’t any less deplorable, although understandable when individuals or small groups discriminate based on religion or race. But what makes me despair is how governments and legal systems are grossly discriminating against their own citizens all over the world for having beliefs and ideologies different from the standard.

Recently, in Italy a Muslim woman was fined for wearing a hijab on the streets on her way to a prayer meeting. We’ve already seen the persistent discrimination hijab wearing Muslim women are facing in France. But staying closer to home, here in Pakistan there are questionable blasphemy laws that are being continuously manipulated to further suppress the minorities especially the Christians. Last week, a Christian woman in Sheikhupura was sentenced to death by the district courts for uttering blasphemous words. The story as I’ve heard it is that four Muslim women from a village near Sheikhupura reported to the police that they had witnessed this Christian woman uttering blasphemous words. The mother of five then spent a year in jail, before being sentenced to death by the district courts. This situation is pretty common actually. Around 10 people in the past 15 years have been sentenced to death over similar charges and then released on appeal to higher courts.
What baffles me terribly is that how easy it is for four individuals to point the finger at a Christian or Hindu citizen of this country accusing them of blasphemy and then the legal system will put them through hell because of it.

A few weeks ago, I posted a very funny YouTube video on Facebook from the 70s show “Monty Python and the flying circus”. Here a hilarious situation of a man being stoned for blasphemy falls into comical chaos. To the average viewer, the accusation of uttering “the name of our lord” and the severity of the subsequent punishment added to the hilarious inadequacies of the executioners. After reading about this particular incident and the blasphemy law in Pakistan, I couldn’t stop thinking about that clip.

The point I want to make in this very random rant, is that like Afia Siddiqui there are many other daughters of this country facing discrimination on this basis of religious intolerance. Daughters for whom we can do more than just pray.

As a nation simply stares…

Water grey

Through the windows, up the stairs

Chilling rain

Like an ocean everywhere

Don't want to reach for me do you

I mean nothing to you

The little things give you away

And now there will be no mistaking

The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under water

I Do

Hope decays

Generations disappear

Washed away

As a nation simply stares

Don't want to reach for me do you

I mean nothing to you

The little things give you away

But there will be no mistaking

The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under water

I Do

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under ground now

I

Now I do

Linkin Park - Little Things Give You Away

Shit Hit Fan

Note: This post was initially to be published in the Express Tribune. However, since they turned it down, I'm posting it here. It's been on Facebook for weeks now.

As I sit to write this, a storm rages around me. Both literally and metaphorically. Recent events have really shaken me up. If you think about it, it's really quite sad that it has taken for things to have gone terribly terribly bad for me to feel all that I'm feeling. Mostly confused.

If you're reading this and finding it a bit too dramatic, maybe you don't realise how bad things really are. Or maybe, this constant barrage of bad news that hammers us like machine-gun fire in these direst of times has left you numb. Either way, I don't hold it against you. But let there be no mistaking that things are absolutely dismal. We've finally started admitting to the truth:

We are a nation of savages.

We've kept it quite for years. Silenced witnesses. Buried it. Covered it up. Looked away at just the right time. But this time it's out and no amount of burying, silencing, covering, paying off and looking away will help. Once everyone's seen the truth in such a detailed and graphic a manner, it can't be unseen. Cue nationwide uproar of outrage and demands for justice. Pfft.. Justice indeed.

Really can't see what the fuss is all about. Over the years we've gotten away with burning churches, blowing up mosques, killing priests, beating up judges, burning and publicly whipping women, vandalising buses and markets, hanging leaders, killing Chinese engineers and selling votes to name a few. What's the problem now?

Maybe it's the graphic nature of not only the act but also presentation of the evidence that has hit us hard. Or maybe it's the nature of the victims. Middle-class, educated, teenagers in urban Punjab as opposed to dirt-poor, illiterate, enslaved young wife in rural Khyber Pakhtunkhwa. Maybe, our sensibilities are triggered in only select conditions. Maybe. I highly doubt that's it.

Part of our nature of looking away at the right time is that we compartmentalise incidents. We tag them and put them aside. We have excuses and justifications for all our savagery. Extremists, illiterates, landlords, brutal police, Taliban, politicians, “agencies”, Indians, Americans, Zionists. One or more of these are the reason behind our savagery. We kill 40 of our own people in Karachi in under 52 hours and we blame the power struggle in the city between the MQM and the ANP. We publicly whip a girl for alleged infidelity and chalk it down to Talibanisation. We are more interested in the latest cricket result than the fact that 115 Pakistanis were killed in 24 hours in the Mohmund Agency. It's all because of “America's war” against terrorism. We have an excuse for everything.

But this. This has really caught us with our pants down. None of the usual suspects were at play here. No illiterate mob of rural Taliban here. This was “normal” Pakistanis like you and me. We, you and I, grabbed a couple of young boys off the street, beat them to their deaths and then hung their corpses like carcass at the butcher's shop. All this while we, you and I, also stood in the mob and watched. Our affinity for sadistic voyeurism is unparalleled.

Think I'm spewing rubbish? Well I want to believe you. Honestly, I do. I want to believe that I have nothing to do with this incident. That the blood of these boys does not taint my conscience. That I cannot be held responsible for this atrocity or the killings in Karachi or the ones in FATA or the killing of the Ahmedis in Lahore or the burning of the church in Sialkot. I want to believe that I am tolerant and rational. But my inaction, and yours, bunches us together with the rest of these cockroaches, as Fasi Zaka has aptly named them.

Today, Pakistan is a country of intolerance, savagery and barbarism. Only because people like me, who may or may not be in the majority sit back, shake our heads and turn away in disgust. And do nothing. Well I've decided to do something. I will protest. To some of you this may sound very anti-climatic and ineffective a strategy, but I will raise my voice starting with this article and if you raise yours with me, our message will be twice as loud.

Haw Haye !

Lo bhai, facebook is no more. It's been leading up to a this for the past week or so and unless you've just gotten out of a coma or work at Google (plausible deniability) you should know about this. This past week has seen people from all corners of Pakistani society rise up and demand justice against the creators of the offensive page(Myspace), Facebook, Zynga, Zionists, Nazis, Niazis, Communists, Capitalists, Israelis, Americans, Indians, Bush, Musharaf, HEC, PCB, Meera, Daryl Hair, all barbers and Bob the builder. The entire nation united in a cause. Everyone except the mummy-daddies.

As of this morning, the world of mummy-daddies has been turned upside down. Miss Pinky woke up this morning, first went to bathroom for pishy potty, then on to her lappy toppy for her daily horoscope from Pundit-jee. That's when, at the tender age of 17 she had her first coronary.

This incident was far from a remote one. All over Pakistan, mummy-daddies voiced their horror:

"What about my fishes?"

"What about my chocolate-pooping cows?"

"How will I now know if my ex-girlfriend is cheating on me?"

"They could atleast have had the decency to warn us so we could change our statuses or immigrate to Canada !"

"Does anybody know the password to my Orkut account?"

"Zulm hai !"

"Ammi !!!"

"How will I flaunt my slutiness ?"

Yeah ok, I made the last one up. But I'm sure alot of them are thinking that. Now they'd actually have to slut up and go to the markets and look offended when boys ogle at them. Guys on the other hand will go back to sitting on sidewalks pretending to text while poondying out of the corner of their eyes. Bathroom walls will be written on, street signs vandalized, sudden increase in pregnancies resulting from boredom, not-funny text messages, "forward this to 200 people or your cat will get raped by a badger" messages, mothers will take out the frustration of having lost their only respite from the monotony of handi pocha, on their children, people will take up hobbies like collecting stamps or visiting prostitutes etc etc...

Now Mr. Judge has said that the ban is till the 31st of May, by which time he'll have assessed the situation completely and make a detailed decision then. Which has left me wondering, what is a guy to do at 1 in the morning, if not to spy on his ex's wall or play poker? Sleep? *shudder*